Can't Sleep and Need To Breath!!

It's 3:30 in the morning and I am having an a mild panic attack. I haven't had one in about two months and this time it woke me up. The only thing I can think of is my pets and are they having to much variety in there diets and am I making them sick. Would you like me to back up a bit, o.k. here goes.

The last time I blogged was about January and I was so excited about a new year and all the things I was going to do. Then I started having some problems with anxiety. Small attacks here and there, not wanting to go to work (weight watchers) not happy at home, not feeling like I was doing enough you know the usual mom, wife, women stuff. I had a little bit of depression and between the two it was enough to worry some friends and make me think I was losing my mind. When I went to seek help I was told to take a step back and down size my life a bit. Good advice I actually quit my weight watcher job, said NO to more dayhome kids and excersised more. I was actually feeling better. Oh did I mention the retail therapy that helps too. My mom came to visit and that was also better. I have been doing really well and my life also feels alot less cluttered. My home is getting better organized and that also feels like a huge weight lifted.

Just so I didn't feel to relaxed we decided to get a dog in january and she has also been a full time job. That job is starting to ease off a bit now, she is mostly house trained and is training quite quickly, that cat hates her and so she just keeps her space but you can sure hear her when the two meet. Piddles is a great cat she just hates everyone except us. So this last weekend my hubby and I went off to the Pet Expo to see what we could do for our animals. We came home with bags of food samples for each pet and a few new toys to try out. Now for some reason all I can dream about tonight is all this food and are we going to make them sick trying new stuff and how bad is that for them are we doing them any favors by changing there diet and why is this bothering me. I have alot going on this week and maybe I need to slow down a bit but holy cow am I wired right now. I havn't felt this way in a really long time. Breath Tammy the animals are fine and you need a holiday. It's a good thing I have one booked for this weekend.

Yes you read that right I am going away this weekend for a little break. Tracy and Amber and I are going to Vancouver to do the Sun Run. A 10K run through scenic downtown vancouver. I can't wait to hang out with my girls and just relax. Between sick kids, animals, hair, husband, church callings, and all the other stuff I do I am looking forward to sushi with friends, fish and chips on the beach and a 10K run that will most likely kick my butt. Am I ready to run, well were about to find out. The nice thing about being a dog owner is that I have my own personel trainer who demands to be run every day. Did I mention she's a big dog. Her name is Bailey and she is half Golden Retriever and half Border Collie. She is a very high energy dog/puppy and she keeps me motivated. Although she won't be at the race to drag me to the finish line I am depending on my friends to do that for me.

Well I am calming down now and am starting to feel a little bit better. I want to post more and I am sorry for the long gaps in time. Perhaps if I these attacks more often at night I would stay current. For those of you wondering why I never called to tell you about my issues please forgive me, I kept it quiet for many reasons and I know that everyone would be so supportive but I needed to work through this and have become a much stronger person because of it. I have a beautiful back bone I hope to never use on the people I love.

See you soon
Tammy